Biting
My son is 5 years old and my daughter is 3.5 years old. When they play together my daughter bites and hits her brother. How should I react?
Your daughter's behavior shouldn’t worry you. These behaviors are completely normal for a young child, as at this age children find it difficult to understand how they should play and how to express their emotions, for example anger. Here's what you can do:
1.Play together with your children showing the different ways of playing. Explain to them during the game how to share, discuss, how to follow rules.
2. Reward them every time they play in the desired way and encourage each one verbally.
3. Ask your older son to help you in this try.
4. After the incident, remove one child from the other. This way daughter will have time and space to calm down and your son will have a chance to feel safe.
5. Talk to your daughter to understand what is causing her tension. Avoid yelling or arguing with her, as children need help understanding their feelings. For example you can say "I understand you are angry but it is not right to bite when you are angry. Let's think about how we can solve this." Make sure your child understands that she needs to apologize.
6. Comfort your son who was bitten or hit. Talk to him to make him understand that he didn't do anything wrong and explain to him that his sister needs some time to learn how to play properly.
Either way it's a good idea to notice when your daughter exhibits these behaviors to identify the cause and manage it accordingly. Don't forget that a small child can exhibit aggressive behavior for various reasons (because she wants attention or is jealous). What is needed is observation, discussion and time.
Anesiadou Kassiani, nursery teacher
Kokkinou Sofia, kindergarten teacher
